Have you ever noticed that when something bad happens to you or to someone close to you in your life (like a son or daughter, or a parent), some friends might offer help, while others disappear? This seemingly becomes more the case as we get older.
I was reading this interesting essay in The New York Times today and stumbled upon an explanation for this behavior — the guy quoted in the article called it “stiff arming” or “pseudo-care.” A friend offers help to you in your time of need, but then disappears.
Why do people do this? Are they afraid bad luck is “catching”?
The author of this essay describes how both her daughters suffered serious health problems in the same year — one from a rare disease, and the other from anorexia. Then she noticed that some of her long-time friends seemingly disappeared for nearly the entire year, coinciding with her daughters’ health problems.