Tag:

Dissociative Disorder

My Girlfriend Has Deeply Rooted Issues that Puts a Strain on Our Relationship

by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP August 23, 2021

written by Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

My girlfriend’s father was very abusive and loveless, and her mother had to escape with the kids one night when she was 13. He was a slum lord and fought seven years of divorce court to prevent my girlfriends family from having a stable fresh start. She absolutely despises him.

She now has states of what she calls “loopiness” where she becomes light headed and starts acting like a kid, laughing uncontrollably at things and speaking in a child like manner as well. She told me that in one of her more loopy mindsets she once had a conversation with a tree. I haven’t witnessed anything to that degree but I have witnessed her loopiness every few days. She see’s a psychiatrist regularly but he’s only diagnosed her with anxiety.

One year in and we both love each other, however she is extremely attached. If I’m not seeing her for one day she will get very depressed. Sometimes she stares at photos of us and breaks down crying. Recently I have spent almost an entire two weeks coming over and seeing her every day. It ended up taking a strain on me, and that stress mixed with work stress has caused me to cancel last minute on our daily get together.

Because of this, she is both extremely offended and extremely depressed, she wont text or accept my calls and the day I wanted to use to meditate through my stress was used getting anxious over the status of our relationship.

What’s worse is that if I ever hurt her like this, she will break down and cry without speaking her mind. I will try to be patient, comfort, and encourage her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t say anything. She once told me she was being unreasonable while she was crying and I had nothing to say other than “it’s okay”.

I want to be with her, I also want to get her help but I need a few days of the week to myself. In the past I have pitched to her that we plan those days and she was okay with that but it builds up so randomly and strongly that I feel the need to cancel last minute.

I’m trying really hard to accept her needs by being with her as much as possible but that goes against what I need. (From Canada)

I admire the struggle you are having to take care of yourself and the love you feel. Your girlfriend’s problems sound more serious than “anxiety” and I would encourage you to help her get a second opinion. Talking to trees, dissociating, and regressing to child-like behavior while being excessively dependent isn’t healthy for either of you. I suggest getting a second opinion and getting a better handle on what these symptoms are related to. Then you will be in a better position to know what to do.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

August 23, 2021 0 comments

Multiple Internal Voices

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW February 7, 2021

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I have 4 “versions” of myself. The main one (me) is the artistic one and sees everything in a positive light but can get depressed easily. The second main is Jake who is logical and sees everything more realistically but can get angry easier than the rest of us and is the strongest. The third version is Jack who is a over confident person who has no emotions for others and gets things he wants for the body’s benefit. The fourth one jakey is the happiest out of all of us and is very careless about the body. jakey sees things as “life is short so why not” type of attitude.jakey comes out in a very happy scene or when I get into a deep depressed state. We are all aware of each other and we all share the same memories. They started to exist after an overwhelming event of getting out of a bad relationship, going home to angry parents, and going to school was hell. I was 13 at the time and I kept my sadness inside because I didn’t want to worry my parents even more. I have a history of suicidal actions, and self-hurting actions. There are times where we all fight like siblings but nothing too harsh. They don’t look different from me however they act a lot different from me. I hope this make sense. Its not multiple personality because they look like me but they act very different from me (hence they are called versions) However, I know that it’s not nothing. I’ve decided to accept them and let them have full control of the body for one day throughout the week. Please tell me if this is a mistake or if there is something better I should do. Thank you for your time.

You stated that this is “not multiple personality”, but you should avoid self-diagnosis. The only way to know with certainty if you have DID, or any disorder, is to be evaluated, in-person, by a mental health professional.

You may be describing dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder. What’s most concerning is your history of suicidal and “self-hurting actions.” Studies indicate that people who have tried to end their lives or to hurt themselves in the past have an increased likelihood of trying it again in the future. That’s concerning, especially in the context of the distress associated with your “four versions.” When you recognize that a problem may be present, it is best to consult an expert.

Relative to other types of mental health conditions, dissociative disorders are not well understood. In general, it is thought that some people disassociate in response to traumatic experiences. You mentioned having a history of trauma. It’s possible that these “versions” developed to buffer the trauma in your life, to protect you from experiencing psychological pain. In other words, it’s a defense mechanism. Defense mechanisms only last for so long. Trained professionals will know what to do and can guide you through the process of integrating the “versions.” Choose a therapist who has experience with dissociative disorders. Good luck.

Dr. Kristina Randle

February 7, 2021 0 comments

Curious About Amnesia Part of DID

by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW March 25, 2011

written by Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

I am curious about the amnesia part of DID. I seem to have different people who live inside me. Unlike what I know about DID, though, we all know about each other. We don’t always but occasionally we do talk to each other. I might comfort the child that is sad or the watchful one might tell me their impression of someone. We don’t forget what’s going on when one of the others is controlling the body. For instance, when I feel threatened or insulted a stronger person will stand in. I don’t disappear or anything I just seem to switch awareness into someone that has a different way of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

I don’t know exactly what losing time means. I don’t wake up in strange places or find clothes I’ve never purchased. The most I can say I’ve experienced is doing something and it feels like 15 minutes have passed but when I look at the clock 3 hours have gone by. This does happen a lot. I also sometimes forget where I put something and when I find it I don’t remember moving it.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD. I have no memory of my life from before the age of about 15 but after that age I know I was being severly abused and neglected and assume it had been going on for quite a while. While I know this affects my life in a serious way the PTSD diagnosis just doesn’t make a lot of sense with everything else because I don’t have flashbacks and I don’t have nightmares. I do avoid any in depth discussion about it though. I also wonder if the identity problems are more of a BPD kind of thing.

I would really like to know what is going on with me and any information you might be able to give would be GREATLY appreciated.

From such a short letter it is difficult to determine if PTSD is the correct diagnosis. It very well may be but dissociative identity disorder (DID) is also a realistic possibility. It is not uncommon for individuals to have both DID and PTSD. In fact, some studies have shown that among individuals diagnosed with DID, the majority have a secondary diagnosis of PTSD.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) for mental health disorders the diagnostic criteria for a DID diagnosis includes:(1) the presence of two or more identities; (2) at least two of these identities recurrently take control of the person’s behavior; and (3) having an inability to recall personal information. Your specific symptoms include having no memory of your childhood; a history of severe abuse; a recognition of other possible personalities (often referred to as identity alteration); and time loss experiences. Generally speaking, your symptoms are in line with a DID diagnosis.

I would strongly encourage you to be evaluated by someone who has experience treating dissociative disorders or trauma. One of the main difficulties with DID, and dissociative disorders in general, is that individuals may be experiencing symptoms they are not fully aware of. This is why it is important to seek outside assistance from trained mental health professionals. It would also be beneficial to educate yourself about DID. A quick Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble search could help you to identify helpful resources.

While I cannot offer a reliable diagnosis over the Internet, I do believe that dissociative disorder is a possibility. A psychiatric evaluation is the quickest strategy for determining an accurate diagnosis and more importantly to guide you to effective treatments. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

March 25, 2011 0 comments